| Culled From: | Madubuko Jaybee |
|---|
"Today's post is a bit controversial. Before I go on, have it at the back of your mind I don't mean to scare or offend the menfolk. It would be nice if they heed to my advice anyway. Hehe
Lucky me! Whenever I go out, something weird happens that inspires me to write.
On my way back from church yesterday, I stopped by a junction to get a cab. Five minutes gone and no cab in sight.
I felt someone pat my back and called me my wife in a strange tone. As I turned to admonish the person, lo and behold it was a mad man.
He was not just mad, he was naked! He was not just naked, his manhood was fully erect!
They say in times of danger, never underestimate your inner strength. Now I truly believe all those stuffs Jet Li does in movies are not film tricks!!!
I saw myself do worse. Before I could say God forbid, I was on the other side of the road without my shoes. I didn't walk or run across, I flew! Danger gave me wings!
What threw me off balance was his gun looking penis. The mad man was as dark as Akon so you can imagine the trauma my eyes went through.
This incident arouse my curiosity.
Why do all mad men have big penis? I am no pervert but that's the first thing I look out for when I see a naked mad man and believe me, this wild breed of humans have never disappointed me.
Its a pity watching them walk from dump site to dump site with their scrotum bigger than their bags of trash.
Jokes aside, I have never seen a naked mad man with a small penis. Its either they are out there but shy to let it loose or the mad men with big dicks conspired amongst themselves and killed the small dick ones because they are a disgrace to the society for mad men.
You feel me?
In case you are wondering how they ended up mad, yours truly did a little investigation and my inferences are better explained in the story below…
Once upon a time, these men were once sane. They had girlfriends like others, had nice rides, they wore suit&tie etc.
One day, they stripped in front of a mirror and they liked what they saw. They told themselves
"I am the baddest guy ever liveth. This my equipment is too long/ too large for just one girl to enjoy, I have to get her a helper(s)"
And so the big penis sane man goes out and chases everything in skirt.
The heartbroken faithful girlfriend soon realises her boyfriend has refused to zip down for only her and the toilet.
She lies down naked and puts a curse on her boyfriend. (we girls do that a lot. Hehe)
A few days later, the curse takes its effect and another #teambigdick mad man is released into the streets.
From this my short story,
I have been able to drawn the following facts.
1. The moment a guy starts letting his penis control his brain, madness is just whistling around the corner. All that unused mental energy will one day explode. When that happens, the sane
man throws caution into the wind and run into the streets naked. (beginning of madness)
2. All things being equal, the bigger a man's penis, the higher the chances of him ending up mad.
(I think I saw this in Aristotle's diary)
3. Most of the mad men on the streets don't need a psychiatric hospital or TB Joshua to deliver them because they are cursed. The family of the mad man needs to find his ex girlfriend(s) and beg her/them for forgiveness on his behalf.
4. Every time a guy cheats on his faithful, God fearing girlfriend, he is one orgasm closer to getting mad.
5. If you are a man with a big penis and you know its difficult to padlock that monstrous meat (MEANING YOU GONNA BE MAD SOMEDAY). Cut it off!
You can always pee via a catheter.
Even Mathew 5:30 says if your right
hands causes you to sin, cut it off.
A tool that does less work than your right hand does not deserve such leniency.
Girls, next time you suspect your #teambigdick boyfriend cheating on you, take him to the nearest dump site and tell him that's where his colleagues are."
Agreed!! Who else agrees with her?
TITLE>>>>>>FORBIDDEN
CONTINUED FROM YESTERDAY
.... It all started after I ran into Kanah. I was eight months two weeks pregnant I had a bag hung on my shoulder and was holding my two boys In both hands as we hastily walked past a car that was trying to pull into the road from a fuel station when I heard my name''Jane'' I stopped and dragged my boys away from the road before turning to see who was calling.Behold it was Kanah. He had come down from his car and was walking towards us. 'Mum who is he? Ray asked 'Uncle Kanah. your fathers friend' I answered Kanah stooped to shake the boys. 'how are you boys?, he asked as he shook them one after the other I am uncle Kanah . Ray and Muka chorused, 'Good afternoon Uncle Kanah.' .Good afternoon; could you please remind me of your names? 'I am Muka Ubanda 'My names are Ray Menduko Ubanda.'Brilliant' Kanah acknowledged and stood up. ''Jane how are you? Not bad, Mukoyo? I have not heard him for ages. ' He is alright. Tanya. how is she?" .... TO BE CONTINUED TOMORROW...JOIN US TOMORROW FOR MORE ON THIS FUNNY AND EXCITING STORY }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
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